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If I Didn’t Care Poem By Celia

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If i didn’t care about you, i would never write again

I’d block your number so easily like the other unfortunate men

and i keep the door closed but its closed and not locked

If i didn’t care about you the way i would have walked

I wouldn’t have talked about the way your eyes shine

mesmerized by cups of coffee when i never cared much for

the caffeine in mine

but the anxiety that butterflies within me feels like it might be something more

If i didn’t care about you  i would have left that slice of cake at  the store

but instead of writing Happy Birthday i erase and redraw

should i put your name in all caps or lowercase

i leave it on the lunch before anyone ever saw

that i thought about you enough to walk down a flight of stairs

do those sound like the actions of somebody who never cares

he text me thank you i smile at the message and nod

if angels don’t exist how do i explain you to god

when i talk a little louder because i know you might hear

always just next door i’m reminding you’re always in the air

but when you walk in i leave when you start a conversation i stop

when the roles are all reversed

i pretend our feelings for each other were just a prop

something the world watches that can never be true

id never wanna be famous if i’m not known for loving you

and all the things you rip apart each night in your head

i always talk too much you regret what you should have said

i hate public displays of affection but around you pens leak ink

they give up on trying to describe you and said

just try not to blink as they bleed to the pages

trying to make poetry begin lost in you eyes

i hate public displays of affection but i might be switching sides

because you i would mention when talking about my inspiration

the way my heart around you never needed extra translation

If i didn’t care about you i wouldn’t write at all

my phone wouldn’t giggle every time it saw you call

but if i were to care openly and true

i could spend the rest of my life writing

and still never make a poem as great as you .

 

 

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